An Open Letter To Every Driver Who Travels In The Passing Lane And Won't Move Over When Another Car Comes Up Behind You And Flashes Their Lights.

You know who you are. You drive in the far left lane of the freeway when you have no intention of passing any cars. Normally, I consider your behavior to be rude, and retarded and I find small consolation as I am trapped behind you knowing that you are a pathetic piece of shit and you live a miserable life and I should feel sorry for you for that.

But now, you've made it personal. You've made it very, very personal.

Because, you see, this time when you were driving like a jackass, you were preventing me from getting to my father's house where he had discovered my mom's body after she had blown her brains out with a .38. 

You see, I was driving 70 to 75 mph on the freeway, in order to shorten that excruciating drive as much as possible. But you decided, that when I came up on you in the passing lane, you were going to teach me a lesson for being in such a 'frivolous' hurry by SLOWING DOWN. When I flashed my lights at you to pull over, you SLOWED DOWN EVEN MORE. That'll teach me, eh? That'll teach me for being in such a fucking hurry, huh?

After I was finally able to pass you on the right and get back into the passing lane, you sped into the carpool lane, JUST SO THAT YOU COULD PASS ME AND CUT IN FRONT OF ME AND SLAM ON YOUR BRAKES.

Oh now that'll REALLY teach me, won't it.

You see, you waste of air, I was driving 70 to 75 mph, knowing FULL WELL that I could be pulled over and given a speeding ticket AND I DIDN'T CARE! You know why? Because my dad was sitting there, LOSING his SHIT over the fact that he walked into the room to find MY MOTHER'S HEAD BLOWN OFF and I would have been HAPPY to pay 100 speeding tickets that day. 

And think about it, asshole, REALLY think about it. Say I had been given just 5 speeding tickets in my trip, that would have amounted to several hundreds of dollars that would have been contributed to our State coffers to fund the very freeway that you so love to crawl down!

And you know what else? It's a FREE FUCKING COUNTRY and if I want to drive 75 mph on the freeway and get a pile of speeding tickets, THAT'S MY RIGHT and it is NOT your right to take that away from me. How very Un-American of you to steal freedom from your fellow citizens.

So you civil-liberties thieving, road-funds hating excuse for a human, I hope that when the day comes that YOUR mother blows HER brains out because of all the SHAME she feels from POLLUTING the planet with your despicable carcass, that someone JUST LIKE YOU will pull the same shit on YOU when you are trying to be with your family. 

In the meantime, I am channeling all of my anger into getting all of your self-righteous, petty, retarded asses out of that left hand lane. I'm coming down on you, and I'm coming hard.