"Try to have a better day."

That's what the cop said to me yesterday as he handed me a ticket for going 30mph in a 20mph school zone¹, while the ever-helpful Leon tried lunging at him through the car window. 

My "better day" consisted of:

• Leon trying to kill the bomb/drug sniffing dog in the ferry line².
  
• Being ridden off the road by an oblivious tourist after leaving the ferry.
  
• Arriving at the office to a hysterical message from my very worst client.
  
• Having to meet with said hysterical client.
  
• Having to solve the mystery of the Unbalanced Balance Sheet³.
  
• Spilling soup on my Daytimer and two client files.
  
• My email going down. Just mine. No one else's.
  
• Giving myself a heart attack when discovering what I thought was an error caused by me, that would have resulted in $4,000 in penalties in fines that two hours later I discovered was not an error after all.
  
• Someone tried stealing my car⁴.
  
• Missing the last boat off the island that doesn't go to Southworth first⁵.
  
• The next boat, late because someone forgot to put their emergency brake on and rolled into the car in front of them on the boat and refused to get out of the way while inspecting their vehicles so other cars could load.
  
• At Southworth, having the Banditos board the ferry while I was quietly trying to restore my nerves⁶.
  

1. I've driven down this stretch of road thousands of times. The speed limit is 30 and I routinely go 40. I saw the cop on his motorcycle and I was SO PROUD of myself for actually going the speed limit and then very confused when he pulled me over. I'm guilty of being dulled by a sense of familiarity and never having driven down this road while school was in session. It doesn't help that there's no school in sight, no children in sight, no one waiting to cross at the crosswalk and numerous identical crosswalks on this stretch of road that AREN'T in a School Zone...

2. Thanks to Homeland Security, we now have an overpaid, underworked State Patrol cop on the ferry dock with a DOG to sniff all of the cars getting onto the boat. Because terrorists are going to go right to Vashon to make the biggest impact. If only the terrorists could hit Vashon with an anti-self-importance bomb. The only explosive I carry in my car, is Leon who, whenever he's riding in the car and spots another dog, goes BALLISTIC.

3. For every debit, there is a credit. Assets = liabilities + equity. That is the law of Accounting as solid and as true and consistent as the law of gravity. And that's why, when I saw the Balance Sheet That Didn't Balance, it made as much sense as seeing chocolate rain down from the sky. Never, in all my years in this business, have I ever seen a software program produce this abhorrence of all that is right and holy in our financial world. It's like taking your car to the mechanic to be fixed, returning to find that they have destroyed it with a steamroller and then handing you a bill. Ta Da!

4. There are many reason why I don't aspire to drive a nicer car than a 1989 Toyota Corolla station wagon. One is the dogs - I don't want them to ruin a nice car. Another is the cost - cheap and paid for. There's the worry factor - if something happens to it, I won't be out much. And last but not least, the THEFT factor - I don't want to own anything that someone else wants bad enough to steal. I wasn't exactly surprised to find that my car had been rifled through when I went out to it after work. Car prowling is common on Vashon.  I don't keep anything valuable in the car, it doesn't even have a radio, just wires sticking out of the dash, so I don't care if they take anything. But when I went to put my key in the ignition and there was a knife sticking out of it and the steering wheel was locked, I realized that they were trying to steal my car. My car that has a poodle spray-painted on the side of it. My car that is festooned with Burningman stickers. My car that was parked on Vashon ISLAND where the only way off the island is onto a BOAT where one can not escape should the cops be called to check the boat for a stolen car. My car that I keep SPECIFICALLY to avoid this situation...

5. In the Washington State Ferries infinite wisdom, they route the ferry to Southworth before going to Seattle. This is the equivalent of flying from San Francisco to Seattle and having the plane stop in Dallas "on the way."

6. Actual Banditos.